Balance, the great and wretched altar to which I kneel. You have taken my respect, my joy my creativity. balance Balance balanace balanace balcnanlajel nbalnacen labblancnanlhe.
Power budgets and DPR and whiterooms and the END RESULT STILL FUCKING SUCKS!!!!!!!
I WORSHIPPED YOU I BELIEVED YOU I TRUSTED YOU AND ALL THE GAMES YOU GIVE ME STILL SUCK SHIT.
PF2e: SHIT GAME for SUCKERS
5e: SHIT GAME for BABIES
3.5: SHIT GAME for IDIOTS
4e: SHIT GAME for WOW PLAYERS
WWN: SHIT GAME for 5e BABIES IN DENIAL
LANCER: IT"S JUST FUCKING 4e AGAIN GODDDDAMMMMITITTT
Roll 1d12 for a cool ass weapon your wizard will never fucking use
- Moonblade
- Glaive
- Katana
- Nunchaku
- Miku sticker Baseball Bat
- The Jar
- Crossbow
- 1d4 darts
- Iron Spined Spellbook
- Dagger
- A staff like Gandalf from Peter Jackson
- Family guy dvd sharpened into a chakram
- A small sinew bound crossbow formed from your own flesh that fires your phalanges like bolts
- club
- blowgun (1 extra poison damage!!!!)
- The Throngler
- A trident (those are in this game?)
- The Pen
- The Sword
- Divorce papers
Sexmagic:
level one: Your penis explodes
level two: Her penis explodes
level three: the cum dimension
level five: sex 2
level six: handjob
level seven: The dao of torsion
level eight: Homosexuality
level nine: Your penis explodes \
\
Paizo be like
PLAYABLE BEHOLDERS:
Beholder kin are uhhh um basically just like a person but like,,,,,, imagine if ewer let you play as beholder heuh that would be so fucking sick...... youy have more yes ;:::)
+1 to all REGULAR and OCCULT spells that have the OCCULAR effect.
+1 to the RACISM skill as a RACIAL bonus
+1 to any SAVE with the TRIPWIRE or PRESSURE plate taggle, because youar FLYING but not really you can still be knocked prone and stuff but don't worry cutie pootie pinky pork pie, you still are a big sexy flying beholder
RACial FEAT: BEHOLDERS DON't HAVE ANY FEAT THEY FLOAT
Potions elller
NEw class
AB: Ambien
CD: Ambien
EFG: AMbien
ABCDEFG: Ambien: You take ambien and fall asleep instantly. Roll uyp a new character you piece of shit
Power word: KILL
Powerful, EPIC, Rare, Uncommon, Necrotic, PRimal, Wisdom, ALPHA, Manipulate, incapacitate
9th level
Walmart: onew illing creature without the SIGMA trait
range:touch
components verbal lmomatic saterial: the legs
tunch: sprunges
You call out to the primordial ether to turn your body into a turning fork for the energy of Karthassus the nihilosmic lord of killamanjaro. Choose one unwilling creature in range. It must make a fortitude saving throw or be force to make a fortitude saving throw or be forced to make a wisdom saving throw against making a reflex saving throw against a strength saving throw that would strongarm it into making an intelligence saving trhow against making a ranged touch attack with a melee spell weapon against your saving DC to make you make a ranged strenght attack its spell save dc against your touch ac against its cosmic spelggaar p ;l;sdf north of the city of wisdom or else take 3d6 plus your wisdom modifier necrotic damage. Constructs, fairies, gnomes and elves are immune to this damage. If this spell kills a creature that th DM spent mor ethan two seconds pulling out of his ass he's legally allowed to skin you alive and hang your flayed hide over his DM screen to warn everyone else away from BEING A MUNCHJKING POEWWR GAMER WHO WANTDS TO RUIN EBVERYONE"S FUN!!!
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